how on earth

"i think i've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it."
-charles m. schulz (american cartoonist, 1922-2000)

this is the thing:
i doubt i could make a habit of this break-taking. my concentration is cooperating, and things are getting - slowly but surely - accomplished, but it does feel rather like neglecting a beloved child.

by all means

"the great blessing of life is the existence of tomorrows."
- paul coelho (1947 - )

time ticks by, relentless, and i have projects that i desperately want - need - to complete, and too few free hours to complete them in.
i'm sure i'll be forgiven for taking a little break...especially since i'm (tsk) a lamentably infrequent poster anyhow.
wish me inpiration.

the sweep of things

this was exactly what i needed today: a friend; a walk; a wide and windy beach; the crunch of razor clams; the dance of bright kites, cords taut to the clouds; the colours of
a kindly winter.
it cleared my head of cobwebs.
at least for now.

but the race

my life has not been star-strewn; my accolades have been meager.
a birds-nest-with-eggs, modelled from clay in kindergarten, earned me a
ribbon and a handshake. i spelled my perfectionistic way to little prizes in public
school, and honed my handwriting to a symmetric loveliness that won me silver dollars two years in a row at the belleville fair. a simple idea i submitted to my last employer made me - embarrassingly - an "employee of the month".
these are few and modest trophies, but that's allright.
i dislike spotlights.
some people, bless 'em, thrive on them. the current top three in the best-of-blogs awards 2004 are all excellent, and they all deserve to win, but btezra's birthday is just a few days after the voting closes, and, as he says himself, wouldn't first prize be a wonderful gift?
not only that, but he's been taking those splendid photos, and visiting, and suggesting, and supporting, tirelessly, and everywhere, for as long as - or longer than - i've been here myself, so i'm doing all i can (well, one vote a day till the 17th) to give him an extra reason to celebrate.

every fool and every sage

there are tentative blue skies beyond these clouds, these tossing branches, this rain; but the only certainty, ever, it seems, is the randomness of curses and blessings.

round, and round again

"step out onto the planet. draw a circle a hundred feet round. inside the circle are 300 things nobody understands, and maybe nobody's ever seen. how many can you find?"
-lew welch

(a dozen bits & pieces to "round" off the old year and start the new one:
clicking enlarges.)

thank you - all - for the insights and the inspiration,
and may 2005 bring you peace and perpetual discovery.

there but for fortune

i suppose - new year's eve being my least favourite holiday of the entire year - that this is easy for me to say, and do, but i'll say and do it anyway:
if everyone were to halve their party spending - wine instead of champagne, sparklers instead of fireworks, whatever - and donate the difference, however small, to the red cross (or here in holland to giro 555), millions of uprooted people in south-east asia might find some kind of hope in 2005.

this little earth

the terrible devastation in south-east asia has cast dark clouds across the holiday skies, and my thoughts keep lurching toward the people there, and the people here who know people there, and who are filled with concern, and fear.
i hope they can find the strength, and are given the support, that they cannot now manage without.

th'unbroken song

"christmas gift suggestions: to your enemy, forgiveness. to an opponent, tolerance. to a friend, your heart. to a customer, service. to all, charity. to every child, a good example. to yourself, respect."
- oren arnold

please: have a happy christmas, all.
feast and frolic...
and share the merriness where you can!

where there is light

someone kind said to me, at the start of this very un-festive uncertainty: "when one
door closes, another one opens."
i mention this, speeding along the highway towards alkmaar, to an old friend - er, acquaintance - and he raises a dubious eyebrow. he is a realistic soul, and he is not, has never been, given to platitudes.
my smile is indulgent, but i know this much: if i hadn't consistently jammed my foot between one particular door and the slam of inevitability, i wouldn't be here, now, comfortable in this company, catching up, comparing presents and futures, and watching the lights of north-holland slide brightly by.